Ladies, you know what’s better than taking your bra off at the end of a long day?  Taking your wig off the moment you walk through the door.

I’m just going to let that be a paragraph all on its own.  I’m not sure what else to say about it because I know you’re feeling me, right?  Instead, I’ll tell you a little story of hair loss.  (Oh yes, get excited!)  Actually, it’s a pretty short story.  It goes like this.  Chemo started making me lose my hair.  It happened gradually but steadily until, one day, I decided to take a shower.  I knew that I was losing a lot of my, at that point, very short hair when I had to clean the drain four times just to get water through.  It wasn’t until I stepped out of the shower and saw my poor (loving, ridiculous, empathetic, mouth agaping, maybe should be working on his poker face–I’m not really sure what you want here) husband that I realized it was time.  I foolishly looked into the mirror.  Uhh yeah, it’s time.

“No big deal,” I said to myself.  “I’ve known this day was coming for almost three months.”

So I casually texted my hairstylist aka Aunt Toni and set a time to shave it the next morning at her shop.  “I got this.”

Except I didn’t got this.

I put on a hat, and I’m going to say that I was “pretty cranky” for a few hours until I called my aunt at 8 o’clock in tears asking her to come over asap, stat, right now! to shave it.  Of course, she did.  We even let Penny in on the action.  I wish I could say it was to make it less traumatic for her, but the truth is that it was because she was awake, there, and thought it would be fun. (Please excuse the mess that is my house.  Ain’t nobody got time to clean right now.)

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There you have it.  Until the next night, when my other cousin, Michelle (we have a talented hair family), came over and razored it because my head looked a little more like a globe with continents of hair, and I didn’t want Christopher Columbus discovering anything on my head.  IDK, just go with it.

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Things I’ve learned thus far about being bald:

It is a cold world out there, and I have to wear a hat at night.

Showers only really take three minutes.

It’s super fun to sneak up on your husband and pretend to be Gollum, precious!

People really do want to touch a bald head, but it feels just as awkward as it did when they rubbed my pregnant belly a year ago.

People really do look at you like you have cancer now.  (<—which is blowing my mind because, theoretically, the cancer was removed with surgery.  When I really did have cancer, I didn’t know it and looked just as healthy as the next guy.)

My husband reported that everything I say sounds/looks just a little meaner.

My kids don’t care one bit.

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As hard as this is to go through with two very little girls, my daughters continually put things into perspective for me.  They really, really didn’t and don’t care.  I thought it would take some adjusting to, especially for Alice, but it just didn’t.  She looked at my bald head for two seconds, and then locked into my eyes like she could see into my soul.  That sounds super dramatic, I know, and my brother, Paul, is probably shaking his head at the screen right about now and my other brother, Josh, is totally feeling me.  Still, I felt like no matter what, no matter where, no matter how, she and I were meant to be together.  And she knew it.  Penny too.  She just doesn’t care.

On a lighter note, here are some things that I am playing around with.  I’m not so sure about the scarves.  They kind of scream “sick” to me (and apparently, I can’t even look at the camera in one).  I think my favorite look is the pink wig, and I’m thinking about getting a blue or teal one.  And I’m definitely on the hunt for some cute beanie caps.  Also, so sorry for the awkwardness on display.  I think I am just over the age limit for feeling comfortable taking a bajillion (or even four) selfies on the daily.

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24 comments on “The Bald and the Beautiful.”

  1. Heather, YOU are so BEAUTIFUL! At least you now know, your hair did not contribute to your beauty. You are naturally ~ BEAUTIFUL! You have such a “fighter” personality. You are such an inspiration to me. You are an awesome Mommy, wife, sister, daughter, cousin, niece, friend and a beautiful child of God! You are in my prayers…..daily…..You are “over the moon” talented in writing. Love you and love you blog.

  2. Beautifully written Suzi and my exact feelings, as well. Keep the blogs coming Heather!! We’re in this journey with you…you’re in our hearts and prayers !!

  3. I think you look great in all of them heather.. And you even pull off bald I’m serious you’ve always been beautiful and still are! No matter what you choose for the day hold you head high and proud your a tough cookie and fighting a fight that you will win in the end!!!

  4. Oh, Heather. Thank you so much for writing this blog. I am not sure how to explain this sentiment correctly, but just being able to read your updates makes me feel closer to you and your situation. I have been reading every update you make on here and Facebook. You are so very strong and amazing. And your girls! You three are all so beautiful. Heather, you have always been beautiful inside and out, and this hasn’t changed one thing. I hate that this situation is what made you start writing a blog, but damn are you great at writing. I laugh my ass off and cry all at the same time. Keep it up, you strong, fierce woman. I will be following your journey. I will also be sending all the spells to Dumbledore to keep you and your family happy and safe. Love to you all!

  5. From the very minute your hair was gone I thought “wow, she is gorgeous bald”!
    When Penny asked “can I shave your head next Aunt Toni?” I considered it.
    Rock the bald look and let the world see you as Alice and Penny do, A Beautiful Mommy!

  6. I think your nlog puts life into perpective gor many ofvus that have the jonorvof not only knowing but being a part of uour, no mattervthe extent. You are a BEAUTIFUL woman, mother, and friend, and any choice uou make will pale in comparison to your already awesome attitude and beauty. Always praying for you and yoyr family. Love you.

  7. Love to see your tenacity! They are all great looks on you….. I worked the scarves till Texas got too darn hot, then I embraced the baldness. 🙂 keep on keeping on, heather! You are doing great!

  8. I love this entry!! I think when everything is said and done.. All of your blogs need to be put together into a book and you need to send it off to be published… and no I’m not kidding. I read these entries and every time I experience every emotion. You are a damn good writer, Heather. And I like the purple beanie.. it has that granola hipster look about it. You could totally do the coffee shop thing. 🙂 Love you, sis.

  9. The writers guild I belong to needs to read this. Not only are some of us just starting to blog but you write so well. Besides almost everyone of us is experienced with cancer side effects, either personally or within the family. Thank you for writing this. Thank you for the pictures.

  10. One word….. BEAUTIFUL
    I mean it in every way imaginable. And for the record, even if no one cares, I LOVE THE PINK! It’s my favorite. The pink and the bare natural beauty of bald. You look great in all the selfies but those are my favorite. And trust in what your beautiful girls think, or don’t think, because they will always be your truth! Keep these coming I love it!

  11. Heather, they are right. You are beautiful! Im cheering for you every day and I look forward to your blogs every day!
    I think you rock all the looks! Love you, cousin.

  12. I’ve always thought you were beautiful Heather. You still look gorgeous even with your head “razored”. 😉 I looove the pink! It screams “take that cancer” while looking absolutely adorable on you! I always like the natural bald and the beanie a lot. Your blog is amazing. I’ve been following your journey and I have to say your attitude and outlook is inspirational! I read the above comments too and I agree you need to compile all of your writings through this journey into one big book. It’s so awesome that your little girls don’t even care one bit. You and Josh are obviously raising them right. They have one heck of a great Mommy as a role model.

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