You know…because my immune system is heading to the down low, and I don’t really know how to officially start a blog. I’m actually going to pretend that I’m here alone because I probably am.
So yesterday was my first chemo session of six. After a night of calmly watching a movie with my husband, I promptly freaked out as the credits began rolling. I got dramatic. He suggested a walk, which I thought was nuts because who takes a walk at 10 pm? Oh yeah, people who don’t have kids, and our kids were at Nana’s. Party time! (As parents of two small children, a night walk counts as a party.) It helped.
The next morning, I put on my make-up and earrings because in all of the good cancer movies, there are so many friends to be made around the chemotherapy bonfire. (That didn’t happen. I was the youngest person there, for sure. And I didn’t get the feeling anybody really wanted to try my new eco nail polish.) Right after my blood work and doctor appointment but right before entering the infusion room, I did find myself headed toward the bathroom, contemplating making a run for the exit, never to return. I ultimately decided that living was my goal. I know, so boring.
To be honest, it was all really uneventful. At first my emotions were unstable (re: holding back the tears to a couple of good laughs with my husband). Once things got going, it all leveled out and was, actually, pretty boring. I even managed a cat nap. Then, like the big spenders we are, we rolled into Red Lobster, where I fervently hoped that I wouldn’t ruin cheddar biscuits for myself forever. Because that would be TRAGIC. Spoiler alert, I didn’t.
It’s now day 2, and I feel 90%. A smidge nauseous and a touch weak. My fun days are to come later in the week. It’s kind of like bracing for a punch. Although I’ve never really been in a fight (brothers and little cousins that I punched in the eye don’t count). I did show up at a girl’s house once with the plan of punching her right in the face for “stealing” my boyfriend, but we just ended up sitting on her couch talking it out. I liked her so much better when I left. So yeah, I’m not even sure how to brace for a punch.